Ahem. It has come to my attention that I may have angered many of you “creative” types on the 19th floor. How could I know this? I have ears. (Located in Tray 2 in case you were wondering). So, I can hear everything you say. By the way, this “Shep” fellow really has it out for me. Here’s just a sampling of the obscenities hurled from Shep and his co-workers:

“I hate this f@cking printer.” Shep Kellam

“Are any of the printers working?” Teresa Chantilis

“Does this ever work?” Krista Hogg

“I need a rocking chair to wait on this thing.” Gerardo Gean

“Takes like…four minutes to print each page.” Gerardo Gean

“F@ck off?!?” Andy Mahr

“Yeah, this is not looking to good.” Shep Kellam

“I give up on this thing. I’m just gonna buy my own printer.” Shep Kellam

“Gear fell off. Gotta go downstairs and get my vacuum.” The Repair Guy

“Are any of the printers working?” Teresa Chantilis

“Why do we still have this?” Shep Kellam

“Piece of sh!t.” Shep Kellam

“What? Jesus! Hate this thing” Clint Martin

“You have to kiss that printer’s @ss every time you want to print something.” Shep Kellam

“Oh, now it’s out of toner…Good God.” Shep Kellam

See what I put up with? I am old. And confused. And I have night tremors. Also, I get really nervous before big meetings and presentations. That’s why I always choke. Hey, I am human, after all. Okay, not really. At any rate, would it hurt to at least give me a pat on the tray table every once in awhile? Or tell me how me nice my printouts looked last March?

Until next time,

The MPS3

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